Back From The Dead (or The Living?)

OK, this is just my luck! I had written a clever come-back post and I very smartly erased it! OK, I don't feel like typing the whole thing again, so I'll just get down to bid-nass: I'm back, deal with it. I don't even know who I'm writing this to, but I don't care! I write because I feel the need to, and if someone reads it, good! If no one reads, well, it's not very good writing anyway, so who cares? This is more of a warm-up for me, so as you can see there is no actual content in this post. Last but not least, I would just like to explain the title of this post: after having been "internet dead" for a while, I'm back and very much "internet alive". I would also like to point out that I'm not crazy (despite the name of my blog) and that even though I am back in the virtual world, I have no intention of departing from the physical world and I have been very much alive since my last post, three years ago. Am I going to shake some feathers or barely create a breeze? How the Hell should I know? I'm just back.

"BORING BORING" ("WAKA WAKA" Parody)

Hey y'all! I know this blog is updated once every when-have-you, and I don't think a lot of people read it - mind you, I have one follower, and a damn cute one too! blink to you, Danny - BUT still, I'm keeping it for now. I dunno, it's the closest thing I have to a journal right now. I wanna write about my video, "BORING BORING" ("WAKA WAKA" Parody)... It's funny cuz now I technically can't upload videos and when I made that one, I uploaded it the same day (no editing as you can see), and it was pretty much my last day of technically being able to put a video on YouTube. And by far, it has been the one with most views. OK, sure, I didn't get 100.000 or even 10.000, but as I'm writing this, it's gone over 5.000 and to me, that's huge. Especially since just one of my other videos made it to 500 and I advertised like crazy for that one. The Shakira parody (thanks Shaki for being so famous, I think that helped!), really just came out very spontaneously and I'm just frustrated right now that I can't put up another video until Lord-only-knows when! It's probably gonna be a few months, but maybe a whole year even... Gosh I hope not, I hope it's gonna be sooner. Because even if a lot of people leave hateful comments, so many leave nice comments and also, so many people view it that it makes me wanna do more, another one. I have this one I really REALLY wanna make (not gonna tell you what it is!) and I hope I'll be able to make it and post it soon (probably by borrowing someone else's computer and internet access). Anyway... Peace out!

When Jokes Become Reality

Sadly, more often than not. And always when I least expect it. Basically, I say the stupidest thing that comes to mind and then it happens. My best and most recent example is this: soon after the Haiti earthqake, I said as a joke that "I couldn't wait for the CD to drop". Little did I know that a couple of weeks lter - BAM! - it did. What do I learn from this? Whenever I have a really stupid - and to me, funny - idea, I can be sure that someone somewhere is having the exact same idea and not only do they think it's great but have waisted no time to put it to practice right away. Bless you all, I'm with you. Rolling eyes. Mine.

YouTube: Lovers 'n Haters

Actually, it's "YouTube: Fans 'n Haters", but I thought it would be funnier to write "Lovers" instead of "Fans". Everything is so over the top, it's weird, and it takes some effort to remind yourself that life doesn't work that way. Maybe it worked that way when you were a teenager... Is that what YouTube is all about? A bunch of people who never left adolescence? A world where you either love or hate? Because more often than not, comments to a video are one of the two extreme opposites. Then again, I don't think it's just YouTube. It's very much internet in general, where people just give their opinion without taking the time to think it through, just raw and childlike. Lets not lie to ourselves, in the end we're just losers in front of a computer. Life is out there, real love, real hate and -surprise!- a whole spectrum of human emotions that just wouldn't fit on a "500-word YouTube comment". Ponder, won't ya?

Rambling bonanza!!!

I'm at work (oops, I shouldn't say this, I might get caught - haha!) and I'm bored beyond your wildest dreams. And it's Christmas Eve. And I had a little too much champagne!!! Well, I'm just tipsy. Then again, nobody's forcing me to stay here. I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reason? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got fear. Cuz that's all it is, baby! I sound like those two weirdos in "Donnie Darko"! "Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.", to which Donnie answers: "You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!". Damn' right, Donnie! I'll rephrase, then: Who needs reasons when you've got denial. Happy Holidays, everyone!

TIME GOES BY SO SLOWLY FOR THOSE WHO WAIT!!!

Yes, I know it's Madonna. But she was already stealing the tune from ABBA, so I'm allowed to steal from her (sorry, Midge - oh, and do send me the bill, har-de-har!!!). Getting to the point --> Aaaarrgghhh!!! It's so horrible to wait!!! Basically, I could be working next month on a project that will change my life forever... or not. So, in a nut shell, I'm at a junction with two roads: one that so far looks like today, yesterday and the day before that and another one that looks like nothing I've ever experienced and pretty much all I've ever dreamed of. There. And the best part is that there is NOTHING I can do about it. I just have to wait. God, I wish I knew how to meditate, I could really use some of that right now... Like some time by myself in a curch, but not during service. Some peace and quiet. Breathe... breathe... breathe...

I don't even know!

Thank God uploading a video takes forever and I only have a few minutes. That's why I'm writing a post instead, that's why you won't see me crying. I'm not actually crying - that's the worst part - I always hold it in. I get teary, like I'm about to burst and I just choke. I try to please too many people, I end up not pleasing a lot of you and most of all not myself. It's such a long journey to find yourself when your first certainty is that you're light-years away from most people, light-years away from what you're expected to be. Because I often take the time to think, to pause, to ask myself questions, to actually listen to what y'all have to say, I've noticed that most of you decide to squeeze in and add your little something extra to my life. That's very thoughtful of you, but mind your own business, unless I ask you. Funny... it's always when I don't that you just ramble on about what I "should" do for my own sake. My own sake? Fuck you, you selfish narcissist! I'll tell you who I wanna be: not the perfect ideal you have in store "for my sake" but my own fucking dream come true. Oh, and no, I won't cut my hair short. Shove THAT up your ass and fuck it, won't ya.

Now, to the rest of you who are genuinely nice, loving people who just let me be or even make me a better person, sorry 'bout the foul language (that's what comes out instead of tears).